I really don’t get tattoos…… then my son goes and does this!!!

Only a short article this week due to Angela and I celebrating our 25^th wedding anniversary with our amazing family and friends.

Although, like most people, I have had some difficult times in the last two years I am blessed to have the most wonderful family.

My long-suffering wife is lovely, I have a daughter who is beautiful both inside and out, and teaches kids with special needs, and I have a fabulous son at university. I won’t embarrass him about how great he is as some of his mates read my articles and his dad talking about that would be so not cool!

However, he blew me away last week with something he did.

Stephen has wanted to cover himself in tattoos for as long as I can remember. He talks about his plans for sleeves, legs, chest, back and when he does I try and be positive and supportive but inside I silently groan!

You name it, he wants a tattoo on it (although hopefully not there, that would be very painful!).

He loves them, I don’t! It’s not that I have a problem with anyone who has tattoos, and I wouldn’t judge them for it as long as the images are tasteful. Clearly having tattoos is a personal choice yada yada yada …. but until last week I just couldn’t understand why someone would want to do it. People who have them talk about the meaning and the great artwork but it goes right over my head.

So you can imagine my thoughts when he came home a few days ago and said he’d got his first tattoo and I saw the telltale sign of his upper arm wrapped in clingfilm (cue another silent groan).  A couple of hours later he removed the clingfilm and showed me this:

Thankfully it was, as you can see, a silhouette type of tattoo that didn’t look too bad and was actually quite tasteful and reserved so, whilst not overly enamoured I was quietly relieved at his first foray into what I believed was the nonsense of tattoos.

He then asked me if I recognised the image and I didn’t. I assumed it was two footballers celebrating a brilliant goal or something – maybe from a match we’d been to together?

No, that wasn’t it – he then showed me this photo:

He explained that the photo was from when me and Stephen went on our epic 2019 train journey adventure to Madrid for the Champions’ League final against Tottenham and stayed the weekend. This picture was taken on the Sunday night when we were still celebrating Liverpool’s famous victory in a local square with hundreds of other fans drinking, singing and dancing until the early hours.

Surprisingly and unexpectedly I actually started to like the tattoo and appreciate the meaning behind it. But then the moment, that was already by now a nice one, moved on a million miles…….

Stephen explained that that trip was one of the best experiences of his life, and to do that with his dad was so special he wanted a permanent reminder for him of that weekend and that this image was always going to be his first tattoo. He also said a few other nice things about our relationship that were so special to hear.

By now I was blown away and trying to hold back my tears of pride, joy, thankfulness and love for this amazing young man who is so bloody frustrating at times but also so utterly fantastic at others.

For him to feel that way and to do that is indescribable so I won’t even try. A very special moment in the life of this big soft sod.

Maybe tattoos aren’t that bad after all!!!

It is so hard to be a good dad and there are many things I would do differently if I had my time again. I worked too long and too hard when my kids were growing up and sometimes prioritised things I probably shouldn’t have, but I always tried to find time for them and now they are adults I am blessed to have a great relationship with them both.

I have been very lucky in my life and have accomplished things that I am proud of but of all the work and sport accolades and achievements that others may view as my best successes, nothing comes close to moments like this with Stephen and similar times with Sophie.

For him to recognise our relationship in this very modern way (and the lovely birthday and Fathers’ Day cards I received from Soph) fills my heart with joy and pride.

During that whirlwind part of your life when you’re climbing the greasy career pole whilst bringing up a young family and also trying to keep fit and enjoy life there are always short-term tasks or issues that at the time seem more pressing and urgent than spending time with your kids – but none that are anywhere near as important. In reality you know this (which makes the guilty feeling even worse) but still sometimes get the balance wrong.

And it’s not a secret about the need to balance all of this. Everyone tells you this as you struggle with the demands of hard work and bringing up a family but it’s only with hindsight now my kids have grown up that I appreciate just how true it is.

Of course, when you reach my age it’s too late if you got the balance wrong and I am reminded of the busy parent expression from the last couple of decades ‘cash rich, time poor’ that seems to result in ever more expensive gifts and holidays but less meaningful time together. Well that’s the wrong way round. What is more important than spending time with your kids so you can be privileged enough to be given such moments like Sophie’s cards or Stephen’s tattoo later in life? Clearly nothing!

Hopefully in the new post lockdown world we can all take a step back, realise what is truly important and continue to embrace family, nature, exercise and anything else that makes us happier, healthier and to live life in a kinder, simpler way.

Whilst, for our own sake and that of our families we should be driving this as individuals, HR clearly has a part to play in enabling this to happen in the workplace. Wellness initiatives have been growing in popularity in recent years and hopefully this will continue apace. If ever there was an opportunity for our profession to really make a difference to the lives of our colleagues it is now.

I hope we are successful in doing so and we don’t allow our organisations to just slip back in to our previous consumerist, busy, but less kind and less wholesome lives. We need to get the balance right.

I hope this article has been interesting for you. If you have any HR queries don’t hesitate to contact us

Take care. Pete.